What does change take?
I realised recently my perception of how long something takes, creates HUGE resistance! It threw my mind back to this poem I had written in February 2020. I also remember the journey and still there are moments of overwhelm, doubt, tears, joy, sadness, ecstasy, excitement, confusion. It IS a rollercoaster and theres no avoiding it. I also think this is paramount to know because your WHY you want what you want, that is likely going to consist of change has to be BIG so you can withhold these storms of turmoil and triumph. and come back to a knowing it is also absolutely perfect.
If you can resonate to these words I would love to hear from you.
Are you READY to be alone?
Because that’s what it takes....
Let’s not dress it up
When you do what you HAVE to do, when there is NO other option, you BECOME willing to face the adversity, the loneliness and sacrifice that comes with it
To be honest, I didn’t know that’s what it took
I didn’t know I would die a thousand times
Feel misunderstand, desperate, lonely, heart broken, suicidal
I didn’t know that was part of the journey
I constantly thought. For fuck sake am I not fixed yet
Why am I still experiencing hurt
Why am I still facing disappointment
Then I realised
Why am I here
Why am I physically where I lay
I am living my life in the eyes of others
I’m waiting for the approval I never get
I’m waiting for the feeling to be seen
To be recognised for who I am
Well here it is
I would have waited a lifetime
Because that’s an ILLUSION
The only way for people to see you is BE YOU
You have to be prepared to pick yourself up
To know there IS light even when there seems so much darkness.
When you are numb from experiences.
When you are lying there suffering, having to forgive, when there’s been so much deceit, pain, and abuse.
How do you still stand?
What will people think?
I can only imagine what people used to see in me, or maybe they saw nothing but what I saw and felt is;
A scared little girl, weak, searching for love and acceptance in all the wrong places. Hurting people along the way because that’s all she knew. If I reject before I am rejected it’s safer. I’m less exposed. I know this, I know I can handle that pain. Or can I? I’m crumbling inside. Day by day wondering why the love I see and feel Isn’t reciprocated. I long for them to love me. Until I flee and forget it for a while. Believing I am better off alone. I’m too complicated. I can’t feel emotions properly. I’m too damaged. Who will love me. I don’t get it. I’m confused. Stay busy. That helps me forget.
Until you are forced to face your demons.
You are not broken
You’ve just forgotten who you are
You are searching for the high, unaware there is a natural high you get from allowing energy to flow through you, beautifully, experiencing the simple things of life and being the TRUE you
You have been built up from synthetic feminine and masculine which has left you confused, overwhelmed and constantly wondering if what you are doing is right...
If you’re wondering, a deep knowing there’s MORE, that’s the FIRST step, you are moving forward, if you want to break FREE for good from your limitations, from the invisible wall you have created, MESSAGE me.
This is not for those with excuses
This is not for those who blames anyone else
This is for those READY to take radical responsibility!
Something has to change to STOP the struggle, to STOP the suffering!
Those who need to SEE and HEAR this, WILL
Those who aren’t ready will be angry until you are
It will never feel comfortable.
You will just know that this IS the answer because it IS
I’ve lived it
I’ve breathed it
I’ve let go
With the tools and the container I create provide you with the safety you need to dive deep!
Dive deep into you who are.
Your choice.
Choose suffering
Or
Choose freedom
You are safe
You are guided
You are protected
You are here on purpose
It is time to be guided you, no longer going alone, heal from your pain, your struggle, your loneliness.
So you can reconnect, love like you’ve never loved, create like you’ve never created, experience abundance you only ever imagined.
It’s time
Drop me a heart if this resonates plus reach out its time to reclaim all that you are!